Everyone has to start from somewhere, from that little grain of sand that transformed into a luxurious beach to that nicely blown glass vase that sits in a high-end furniture shop. I would say that everything started from the moment that the little boy decided to bully that little girl and she ran away crying to her mummy and daddy. The little girl became angry. The little boy couldn’t explain the urge to disturb her but he still carried on till he grew out of if. On the other hand, there were girls that returned the favour and decided to beat up that little boy till he kept clear from her path
All of us go through our first relationship whether you entered into it wittingly or unwittingly with the opposite sex. You just woke up on morning and someone else started referring them-self as either your boyfriend or your girlfriend. Sometimes, you scratch your head wondering exactly what was running through your mind whilst you were dating so and so or perhaps you a small nostalgic smile spread on your face. Your starter relationship helps you test out all your theories so that you can fine tune your approach.
No-one is really sure what to expect from each other in this relationship but they understand what all the other couples are doing. You just need to mimic all the others. Acting as if you’re infatuated. Holding hands. Kissing. Acting like a couple. Attending social gatherings together. The occasional fight followed by making up with each other. Perhaps you just want someone cute or handsome so that when you introduce them to your friends they won’t question your eyesight or taste. You don’t want your starter boyfriend/girlfriend to embarrass you in-front of your friends especially when they should be making your endorphins go into hyper-drive. You become happy, excited and anxious all at once just because of them.
You are allowed to learn but nothing really serious is expected of unlike all these other rantings about how men are afraid of commitment like cats and water. There’s no need to use big words like ‘next level’ ‘marriage’ ‘commitment’,’we need to talk’ and all those are other phrases that crop up in relationships. If you started dating as a teenager then why do you need to talk about commitment when you’re even not even sure what you want to be when you grow up. You have a fight here and there, some are tiny whereas others seem enormous at the moment in the time but later on, they become smaller and smaller and you suppress the urge to burst into laughter.
As you age, your perspective changes and all because of that starter relationship with someone just as green and naive as you once were. Congratulations to all our starter relationships because they gave us the room to learn, grow, cry and have fun and also a little to bring more into the next relationship or you realized what you can’t stand in a partner.
P.S. The first version of this article originally appeared on WeNami