Pretty Boy Problems By Linda Wairegi

You’re platonic male friend always dresses to impress, he could even give you a run for your money. He is essentially high-maintenance to the eye of a perceptive lady. It’s hard to remember the last time that he repeated the same outfit twice. Plus last week, he was complaining about how his quest for blemish-free skin keeps being threatened by random breakouts.

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Your boyfriend could be a spring fountain filled with fashion tips. Once upon a time, this would have been indecorous, because we’ve been raised to believe that a man can’t afford to be anything than a classic, macho man. Throughout the decades, the men that are typically glorified tend to be harder than nails, street-smart, good with fists and silent. A man who never cries.

Nowadays, we want a man who is both tough and sensitive. Hence, a man that takes extra pride in his appearance isn’t a big deal. Look at, David Beckham.

Kim takes forever to get ready and when you watch him, you feel as if he’s making love to the mirror. Spritzing himself with strong masculine, woody scents, he holds two jackets in-front of the mirror as he puzzles over which one to wear. He already put aside his leather brown man-bag, small enough to carry manly essentials.

Adjusting and re-adjusting his hair as he combs and styles it with tender care. Pouting his lips, as he adds a touch of lip balm and rolling Nivea for men on his underarms again. The same way that any man would handle his dream car like a delicate baby. Ever so gently.

He has the same vibe whenever he’s looking for his light in anticipation of snapping a selfie.  Mr. Pretty Boy wants the perfect shot for all his friends and followers to see him always having a good time. As his social media friend, you’ll notice that he has way too many pictures of himself perhaps with different filters, different outfits and different poses. Also, as an intriguing aspect, he will unlink himself from all pictures that paint him as unflattering.

Without a care in the world, he’ll talk about the typical fashion faux pas done by Kenyan girls. You’re scared to take him back to the village because you question whether he’ll be able to partake in all of those manly activities. Your pretty boy probably doesn’t know how to slaughter a chicken, milk a cow or tinker with a car engine. Calling him whenever you have a technical problem won’t help you. He probably isn’t good in a physical fight. So if you’re the brash and crazy type that tends to create trouble wherever you go. Then you’re on your own.

The pretty boy is never late for any of his dates with his conquests. It could that he believes in being fashionable punctual after all he dresses for every occasion. He might disappear once in a while to the gents so that he can straighten himself out but he can hold a conversation.

He will tell you of how he loves pastels and they complement his complexion. Maybe, he’s experimenting with the new trends to see which one suits him. With an inner flair, love of colours and an awareness of skin care regiments. Definitely no stranger to manicures or pedicures because his hands are definitely a gift from God. With an aura of a peacock and confidence that would put any simpleton to charm.

At the gym, he stays leaned and toned because he needs a good body to compliment his style. Once again, sometimes he makes love the mirror as he checks himself out, narcissistically, and just gazing at his perfect biceps and triceps.

The typical girl knows that dating him would be tricky and potentially exasperating. After all, not every girl will glam herself up every day for other girls and the world to see. Some are more laid-back and will do so once in a while so they wouldn’t want someone who will keep pointing it out. You don’t want someone who gives you serious fashionable competition, do you?

You may want someone handsome to look at hence a pretty boy but you still want him to have something more between his ears.


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