Give Him What He Wants… At Least Almost

We always hear that ‘a man is a a king’ or something else patriarchal like that. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

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So how will you keep him interested if his attention is always drifting away? Well, the best way is by giving him exactly what he wants and how he wants it.

I can see a feminist raising her arms and saying that we haven’t fought for the girl child to start acting retrogressive. Ladies shouldn’t give up their power because we fought so hard to get it. It just can’t work because I am simply empowered but maybe you need to give him a little dose of what he’s craving.

You’ll always hear a guy that compliments his girl and how she doesn’t overdose on make-up. He says things like ‘I’m so glad that you aren’t like other girls’. She’s a naturelle because she has pretty face and she isn’t really into makeup a lot. However, wait till he tells her. I wish you were a little more like her. I wish you had confidence like Nicole. I wish you were less geeky and acted more feminine. Add this to everything else that any man has ever told his girlfriend.

So give him exactly what he wants and start dressing up like her. So buy that Brazilian weave, press-on nails, padded underwear, fake eyelashes and everything else that you could ever need. Watch through YouTube makeup tutorials so that you can paint your face like an artist. Change up your hairstyle.

Borrow a nice pair of six-inch stilettos, an official mini-skirt and whatever else floats your boat. You’ve got this. You could also get a few more fashion items that will make a statement. Decide if you plan on showing off your cleavage or legs or better yet just show both. The less you wear, the more effective this will be.

If you’re the poster girl for tomboys then perhaps you should practice at home. You only have to nail this routine a few times. Transform yourself overnight and stay like that for a week.

Don’t forget that Annie always manages to look hot because she’s not the type of girl to do chores or cook meals in the kitchen. So neither should you, why should you break a sweat or even worse a nail when you’ve delivered to your man exactly what he wants. You need your beauty sleep.

If you were too smart for him and his circle of his friends, then just water it down a little. After all, no-one needs to know your opinion on the latest innovations in Africa or why the WTO was nothing more than a political showground. Instead talk about The Kardashians, The Westbrooks or Nairobi Diaries and how it’s so cool to have a home-grown reality show.

If you aren’t attentive enough around him and he feels undervalued smother him till he literally can’t breathe without you next to him.

Till he realises that she’s fake, shiny and plastic like Barbie. The doll that every little girl must grow out and realise that Barbie shouldn’t be anybody’s ambition. Let him choke on every moment that he has ever wished that you were like someone else. Till he begs you to return to your old, authentic self after all he isn’t a Ken doll either.


3 thoughts on “Give Him What He Wants… At Least Almost

  1. Pingback: I’m A Girl | thesocialcrazies

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