A Breakup Can Make Your Bond Stronger By LINDA WAIREGI

 

A breakup can make your love stronger A breakup can make your love stronger

Usually when a relationship ends, that’s the last time that you ever expect to communicate with your ex even after the dust settles. In the heat of the moment, they could even be dead to you. But what happens if you start communicating again and you feel that both of you still have something. That the relationship could withstand another trial run. I spoke to someone and she shared her perspective with me.

Angela broke up with Mike eight months ago – at least that’s what I thought till I bumped into them at the mall. They looked like there were in love all over again. I pulled her aside and we discussed when we’d meet again.

Angela, Katie and I were sitting down and drinking coffee. The two of us asked Katie what was going on between her and Mike. She smiled shyly and said it’s better than it ever was.

“Mike is a changed man. All those little things that I used to nag him about… Can you imagine that he was actually listening and noting them down? He told me about deciding to man up… but of course I didn’t completely believe him till I started seeing it with my own eyes.”

“How has he changed?” I enquired curiously.

“You swore he was the worst thing that happened to you… Other than the other one… that mama’s boy,” Katie added bluntly.

We all laughed on queue as we caught up with each other.

Katie explained how Mike had changed during their time apart. Mike was the living epitome of commitment phobia. Katie would ask one question alluding to the future, and Mike would climb under a rock and hide there for ages.

Imagine the nerve of a man that directly tells you from the get go that he wants nothing more than an open relationship as he carries on sowing his wild oats. Since you’re a good girl, he has declared he will marry after he’s done having his fun because he expects you to stay on the shelf till he’s ready for you. That’s Mike.

In their early days, they were like two sides of a coin – together yet separate. He referred to her as a girlfriend but he still insisted they shouldn’t be too serious with each other since he was still young even though he was slightly older than her. Katie was pretty young and she swears she didn’t know any better. And we’ve all been there and done that. Their relationship was off from the beginning because she was never really sure where she stood due to his commitment fears.

Mike loved talking about other ladies who he’d been with or the ladies who used to chase him. The ones that he would put down gently. Katie had the stars in her eyes, so she believed his stories.

On the other side, Katie hid his existence from the most of her friends because she had to protect herself – because, how can you introduce someone that you’re unsure of? Katie always wanted more clarity, direction and respect in their relationship. She wanted a boyfriend and she had serious doubts about him. When she was alone, sometimes she’d even fantasise about how she’d change her approach in the next relationship. That she’d play as hard as she could with no apologies and make the next man sweat till she was sure about him. Creating a mental checklist because she would no longer settle for Tom, Dick or Harry.

Eight months later, Katie and Mike bump into each other at the supermarket. Mike is super friendly with her and Katie is cordial because that’s how her mother raised her. Later on, they hang out as friends and Mike is sending signals that he still has feelings for her and that he has changed. He is no longer that young boy, but he has metamorphosed into a man the same away a caterpillar changes into a butterfly. She tests the waters with one foot followed by another because the water is now just right.

Here’s the URL for the original post http://www.the-star.co.ke/news/2016/01/09/a-breakup-can-make-your-bond-stronger_c1266539?page=0%2C1

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