Team Mafisi Things By Linda Wairegi

Why would a man that doesn’t know you, call you sweet things? Baby? Beautiful? Sweetie? Yes, men are predators and ladies are prey. He doesn’t know whether you’re a serial killer or a stalker with lots of peoples’ pictures on your wall. The point is he doesn’t know you. Not even know your second name.

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Girls like boys that make them laugh and aren’t cookie-crazed. Team Mafisi score some touch-downs but not all girls are cut from the same cloth. Not every girl will fawn over you just because you call her Baby yet you met her 24 hours ago.

The point is why should I endure conversations like this one:

Him: Do you like hustlers?

Me: I guess hustling is okay (I’m used to random conversations).

Him: (as flat as an old soda) Do you understand Instagram?

Me: Yes, you post lots of pictures without all the stories that you find on Facebook (Nobody has the time to lament that their husband was stolen like a pair of shoes).

Him: (with a semi-serious face) Are you on Instagram?

Me: (slowly drifting away) Yes.

Him: Can I have your Instagram?

Me: No (flatly)

Him: (droning on) Can I give you mine.

Me: (bored and unamused) No. I’ll find you.

Him: Can I have your number?

Me : No (getting up to start walking away).

At least this conversation ended without a fight. Unfortunately, not everyone gets the hint and they’ll carry one regardless of what you think. A boy out there decides to go all out regardless of what you think. It won’t matter if you’re tilting away from him, minimizing eye contact or trying to stare him down. You need to tell him off.

Him: Sasa Babie

Her : (exhaling sharply and slowly nodding her head) That isn’t my name.

Him: (unconvincing) Si you’re like my sister

Her : (Honestly, who calls their little sister, baby? Which family is that?)

Him: (grinning from ear to ear) Can I have your Skype? Can I give you mine?

Her: (trying to end the conversation) Nope. When I want it, I’ll look for it.

Him: (expectantly) Can I have your Facebook?

Her: Nope. (Since Skype is less personal than Facebook you would assume that this hint has hit home. Sadly, it hasn’t)

Him: (still smiling) Can I have your number?

Her: No

Him: Why not?

Her: (unapologetically) Because I don’t want to

Him: Can I give you mine?

Her: I don’t want yours

Him: ( strangely still smiling and beginning to launch into a monologue) So you like being a mean person…You should be a nice girl

Her: (wtf does that have to do with anything? Boys these days…)

I’m sure you can picture the rest of the conversation. Downhill and on wards. No Bonga points being earned here. It’s just tiring and frustrating. If a lady wants to say no, at any point, she can. Though if she likes you then she’ll give her Pinterest name, so you can find you.

Don’t be fooled by the sweet endearments by someone that doesn’t know you. Someone that didn’t bother to learn your full names and can’t read body language. You might end up with a stalker that calls you up any time of the night. He wants a,b,c from you yet he hasn’t done anything to prove himself. Reeks of entitlement because he saw you first. Nonsense

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