Kung Fu Man – Hospital Drama

Crossing my legs on his chocolate couch.With a bowl of caramel popcorn on my lap, I throw some in my mouth and munch away happily.

This art studio apartment has a lot of light streaming through the windows. I love it. If I had an artistic streak and no longer lived with my folks. It would be perfect. Spotting dirty utensils on the coffee table. I take them to the sink and start washing up.

“I’m back,” Kung Fu Man declares as he enters the sitting room.

“What took you so long?” I gently tease as I finish off rinsing the utensils.

“My back is acting up again,” he sounds a little down.

I’m understand. I’m also less energetic when I’m feeling under the weather.

“I thought you went to see your mum at Aga Khan,” I ask slightly concerned.

heart beat

“Just because I went to see her. It doesn’t mean that she saw me,” he adds slowly

“Huuh,” I ask slowly in disbelieve.

“Now, she’s in charge of training physiotherapists. Sometimes, she flies out,” he informs me.

I return to the sitting room. The snug sofa swallows me. I can imagine Alice in Wonderland falling through it.

“Ummh,” slowly “I have a favour to ask,” he clears his throat.

“I want Dr. Njoroge,”

“Why?” I ask him and stare at him incredulously.

“Can’t a man see a doctor in peace,” he puffs up his chest trying to look macho.

I wink at him, reach into my handbag and mediate on what his reasoning could be.

He is bursting mentally at the seams.

**********************************************************************************************

“Kaa hapo. Daktari anacome,” (Sit there. The doctor is coming) a nurse in a light blue uniform tells him as she steps out of the doctors’ consultancy room.

I sit in the chair without questioning her.

A man enters the room, sprightly tall and in his mid-forties with a genuine smile. With a full set of dreadlocks, he sits behind the desk.

“You can call me Jamie,” he introduces you in a slightly deep and husky voice.

Without looking up, he opens the file on his desk and peruses it, for a minute or two. I shift my butt in my seat, awkwardly.

With a slight chuckle “No wonder, you requested for a male doctor.”

Standing up and moving towards the bed, he beckons me towards it.

I follow his advice, sit on the medical bed and remove my shoes. His face is blank and his eyes are a little worried.

With much hesitation and awkwardness, I start undoing my leather belt and lowering my brown chino pants.

With a knock knock on the door, it slides open and a female head pops in.

“Daktari, a patient is in labour. We need you!” she tells him hurriedly.

Calmly turning to face her “Dr Ken. Dr. Angela,” he asks resignedly as he raises his tired eyes slowly at her.

Behind the curtain, I’m in snug black boxers and not liking the direction of this conversation.

Carelessly “Dr. Ken is having sex with his wife in his office. Dr. Angela said she’ll have her clande fire us if we keep bothering her over trivial matters,” she summarizes with a tired look on her face.

Clearing his throat and pointing towards my shoes, he tries to communicate to her.

“I’ll look after him,” she offers solemnly.

“I’ll be back soon. Nurse Jackie will look after you,” I gulp and start becoming a little jittery.

As a kid, I never cared about the gender of my doctor. They were all nice… at least most of them were… but when puberty hit. The story changed.

“Umenyamaza kabisa, kwani wewe ni shy guy?” (You’re so quiet. Are you a shy guy?) standing next to me and taking in a lazy tone.

I don’t want to look eyes with her but she’s starting to get on my nerves.

My phone starts ringing. I left it on the doctors’ desk. Without thinking, I jump off the bed and answer it. As I hung up, the room feels windy and my legs feel cold.

As I turn around, Nurse Jackie is staring at me with her craned neck as is if she has X-ray vision.

Putting on gloves next to the bed, she starts wearing her right glove as she walks towards him.

I’ve seen that look before.

I’m half-naked.

I want to jump out of the window but we’re on the sixth floor.

Of course not.

I want her to stop staring.

***************************************************************************************************

“That’s how my back got injured,” Kungu Fu man finishes up.

My face is frozen in a wide grin. I could honestly die laughing. Imagining his flailing arms as he runs on a slippery floor with sagging brown pants and a shocked expression on his face. Nurse Jackie gaining on him with a determined and fierce fire in her eyes.

I try not to laugh at my friends especially in their presence. I don’t want them to think I’m mean.

I have to ask “Are you saying that you’re all that?” staring at his lower body, asking sweetly.

“I’m telling you she chased me. If she saw it all…”

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