It’s a nice afternoon. The view is amazing. The two of you are taking a serene walk. You’re calm and patient. He’s gushing and super excited about everything that’s going on. It’s underwhelming as you wait for your date to end.
Once in a while, a lady is asked out by an entitled wannabe, with glitter in her eyes, she says yes. He waxed lyrical masterpieces about her being the yin to his yang and so forth.
If you’re ballsy then you’ll tell him to stick his tail between his legs and beat it especially when the date starts souring up. You don’t play coy.
However, if you’re too nice and you simply can’t say no to any sly old fox. Perhaps, you just need to get a little creative and discard the box. Borrow a phrase and run with it.
A) I WANT YOUR BABY
Gaze into his eyes with a dreamy expression and tell him that you want to have his baby. Pull out your smartphone, scroll through the photo-shopped images of your future babies.
B) LETS GET MARRIED
You’re both enjoying the mood till you start tearing up about how perfect the moment is. He pulls you closer and you say ‘let’s get married.’ Give a very brief timeline and tell him that everybody else already knows.
C) MY EX IS A PSYCHOPATH
Lay it on him and tell him the truth on the second date. I doubt any man wants to hear anything like this. He probably doesn’t even know your favourite colour. Nobody wants to worry about returning home late into the world, opening the door and seeing plastic covers on your polished wooden floors.
D) I’M AN EX-CONVICT
Talk about how you set your ex’s Mercedes-Benz on fire after you found a pink lipstick stain on his white official shirt. Yet you don’t even own pink lipstick. Mention how you’ve changed for better but lower your voice and tell him that you’ll go crazy if he ever cheats on you.
E) I KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN
You need to zone out a little and gaze into space as you talk about how you’re amazing with metal in your hands. Then, clutch your handbag and asks him if he wants to see it. Keep your face even as he reacts to you.
F) I LOVE YOU
Make a big fuss over him declaring that your undying love for him. Be as intense and as passionate as possible. Take a step further and mark him as your #MCM on all social media platforms. Love him like he has never been loved before.
G) I ONLY DRINK CHANG’AA
Yes, let him know straight from the beginning that you love chang’aa (traditional alcohol). All other types of alcohol just don’t do it for you plus you even left some brewing back at home as a night cap.
H) I’LL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU
This has nothing to do with romance. Cling on to his arm and show him that you already made yourself a copy of his house keys. That way, you’ll never miss a precious moment again.
Be warned that if your date is slightly crazier than you then he might go along with whatever you say. Wink. Wink. You’ve only dug your hole bigger.