The office vibe has never hit your inner core as you gaze through the days. Typing away on your keyboard, daydreaming. Wondering about being anywhere but there. The walls are caving in around you. ‘What exactly am I doing with my life?’ you keep asking yourself. What if….? I just followed my heart and decided that I can be anything I dream about.
Do you have the look? Do you have that thing? (that intriguing X-factor vibe) Have you been learning from ANTM (Americas’ Next Top Model)? Do you even own stiletto heels?…Can you really walk in them?? As you struggle to walk in a straight line. Do you have good posture? If you’re fashionably challenged, then maybe you should pretend to be a deep thinker till you start getting modelling gigs.
The modelling box keeps expanding, just look for Chantelle Young
Do you have a big butt? Did you answer no? Do you need a bra to tame your peaches? Better yet, do you own a bra excluding sports bras? Can you afford plastic surgery? Can you wear anything and that includes nothing, if needed? If you can dance well then you might also end up doing choreography instead of standing next to important things, like musicians, cars, swimming pools, wild animals. Just brush up on your make-up techniques and posture. A little sexual allure never hurts.
Blac Chyna has morphed from stripper to entrepreneur/cultural icon/reality star. Invest in your body since it’s your temple then incorporate strip dancing lessons. Can’t find a local instructor, then befriend Google and YouTube. Somebody said that the journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. Be warned that when your mum gets her hands on you then she’ll work on you, a good one. Unless you’ve already made it and gifted her something super fancy.
Is Kim Kardashian your idol?
Find a good photographer and let everyone see what your mama gave you. Follow the crowd and cash in before the trend ends.
If you’re lucky, then, you’ll get paid to attend things? You can tweet to all your mini-minions. Buy lots of selfie sticks. You’ll always need to take a snap of yourself. Develop your eye for fashion. Get caught up in a scandal.
Lower your pedestal and simply become famous for being famous. A true paradox. Shop around for a PR person, to help you look for the right opportunities and craft your brand. Plus an accountant, to handle all that cash flow.
You can’t be camera shy especially since the world hasn’t met you yet. It just isn’t ready. Let everyone know your name. Make young mothers toss and turn at night wondering whom, their little girl looks up to.
Spin all that free publicity and use it as a stepping stone. You might be opening up a business. Or simply looking for brand endorsements to pay you. Let Love Hip Hop Atlanta act as your bible.
Then, you remember that you don’t live in America. So your bubble bursts immediately. Go back to work!