I’m A Girl

I can bring life into the world. Along with other unusual things. I’ve been conditioned into playing nice and leaving the hard stuff to the boys. A little bit of me wonders what if Chromosome Y won. Don’t you?


Being a boy, never worrying about how I look? Wearing anything I want? The confidence of a peacock? What is blocking colours? A belittling opinionated woman? Being a ‘big man’ in the office. Grabbing on to power whenever a vacuum is created. Girls that keep deny you are simply deluded.

Say goodbye to pink forever since I’d never want to be misconstrued.

Minimal personal grooming. Surviving on soap and musky deodorant. Any man that knows man-scaping and 3-step beauty routine is just too much. Unless, I do it behind closed doors. A guy still needs to look good.

Talking to all the girls, if I’m a smooth talker. Proving to my boys that I’ve still got it. Letting my wild oats run free because that’s what I’m conditioned to believe. A man is never a ‘whore’ instead he’s a ‘stud’ or ‘a master key.’ Any girl that turns down me is a loose, ungrateful gold digger.

Being an alcoholic wouldn’t matter because a real man knows how to handle his Tusker (alcoholic drink).  Ridiculed teetotalers told to grow up. Advised to take a drink and loosen up. Yet, ladies with drinking issues are just reckless and probably loose.

I’d be able to piss whilst standing. Pulling over the car anywhere and just watering the grass. Peeing in front of buildings. Pissing on my enemies. Pissing on their belongings. Or even on their graves. Peeing out of moving vehicles since I’m just too drunk to hold till my boys pull over. Taking a piss on whatever I want. Literally.

Having the freedom to say whatever I want, whenever I want to. Girls that speak get labelled ‘bossy’ but a man is ‘ a natural leader.’ I could be ‘frank and direct’ as opposed to ‘bitchy and rude.’ I can say it all because being an ‘alpha male’ is something that everyone aspires to. Yet, an ‘alpha female,’ is simply lonely at the top, too strong for her own good, ‘an angry black woman.’

Girls can’t be overpowering instead they have to kick hard beneath the surface like ducks. Girls can still say ‘screw that,’ and decide that they shouldn’t hide their strength. Competing and leading the sheep regardless of whether I’m taking them off the cliff as a guy.

Dating anybody that I want. Intelligence is a non-issue. Looks aren’t. Able to afford that luxury, I’d get a pretty brown girl with heels. Or simply white. If my black sisters simply give me grief I can always increase my dating cesspool. Chocolate isn’t the only ice-cream available on the shelves.

Girls can’t afford to go dumber and younger like a boy. It matters since no matter how modern you are, you still want a man that can provide, protect and lead. You’d get tired having to lead and prop up someone that doesn’t match you.


3 thoughts on “I’m A Girl

  1. Pingback: Catching Mr perfect | thesocialcrazies

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