Wanting a girl that glides in red heels? No broken nail polish? Half dead weave in need of CPR, terrifying fashion sense or lack thereof? You want a perfect little Barbie doll. One that doesn’t keep yapping away about empowering the girl child.
She just doesn’t exist yet.
So, why not find a half-decent girl and groom her into shape.
With thick perfect eyebrows. You gaze into her eyes intensely as you wonder how she’ll make you work for it. Her eyebrows are like charcoal but it doesn’t matter.
Her eyelashes are gigantic. You’ve never seen them that huge but you’ve been around the block. So you know that they can come off. Has any girl accidentally glued her eyelashes together?
Loving big beautiful eyes. Since you can just get lost in them. You can’t help but stare at her.
The thick eyelashes are just below her sleek, straight, shiny black hair. Light bounces off it and it almost shimmers when you make her laugh and she starts moving her head. It’s nothing like your steely hair that could never be tamed by a coconut oil, olive oil or avocados. Being a man, though, you only need a barber.
A glass of red wine arrives for her. You watch her take a sip. She leaves the perfect lipstick imprint on it. The stalker within wonders about paying off the waiter so you can take that wine glass home. It can go on a brown dusty shelf next to the other stolen glasses from your dates.
She keeps tapping her French manicured nails on the table. She’s hungry and the food is still MIA or the chef is digging deep. Looking for frozen burger patties just like Kitchen Nightmares. If you keep watching that show, you’ll never eat out again. Since you’d never poison yourself deliberately.
You stand behind her chair and pull it out for her. You still can’t believe that she said yes to you. She looks like a chocolate milkshake almost overflowing out of the cup since she’s wearing all white. It’s just enough to leave you wondering about it all.
Outside. You unlock the car. Usher her in. Fantasising about what happens next.
Pulling up to her place. She gets out of the car, walks towards the apartment and stands near the staircase. Out of nowhere the skies open and water. Ne maheni. Water pours from two floors above. Looks like the water ration has ended and someone was wise enough to do laundry.
You date is literally lying on the ground. So you decide to help her get on her feet. Her dress is clinging a little tighter and you’re struggling to keep it cool.
It’s outlining all the mental calculations that have been running through your mind since you gave her a warm, tight hug.
She broke a heel. Helping her to balance. Staring at her.
You wish that you hadn’t looked at her.
Her black weave is drifting away with the wind, on her scalp lies cornrows, that smell a little strange. Her lashes are refusing to open properly. Different colours are running on her white dress. Brown. Black. Blue. Her face looks like a melting cake that had different coloured layers.
Smiling at her, you tell her that she’s beautiful and you’ll call her later. She smiles back with a depth in her mouth and no pearly whites in sight.
You start backing up towards your car but she winks at you. She can’t feel the cool breeze that’s attacking your hairline. Being shorter than you, she grabs and pulls you till you’re both face to face.
Being pulled closer against your will, you see a deep red tongue emerge from the black abyss and snake its way towards you.