It all started with a whisper in the wind.
Birds of a feather flock together. Your friends aren’t crazed nymphomaniacs. A little crazy but they’ll never end up in a straitjacket except for Ken. Always be careful with the quiet ones.
A seismic shift happened within your core and you weren’t the same. It helped you realise that the thirst is real. Thirst has no gender.
Things ended. You realised that you no longer wanted to be that close to any boy/man. Since a little voice in your head wonders what’s filling up his DMs. How many baby mamas does he have? Will they come for you? You pray they know better, after all, fire runs in your blood.
If you were a cop, then you’d run a background check on every boy that starts making progress on you. Chini ya maji. You don’t need him thinking that you’re crazy in a scary way but in a sexy way.
You decided to take your time and stay away from boys trying to lock you down.
Your thoughts shifted. You decided that your cookie is on lockdown. It’s tied to your sanity.
Eyes wide open since you are a free bird. A bird that makes fun of girls hidden from the world by their boyfriends or hashtags like #WasteHisTime2017.
You’re holding on to your sanity fairly well. A typical boy can’t manage cookie lockdowns since he can’t get it anywhere. It doesn’t make sense why you aren’t putting out. It’s a necessity like drinking water on a daily basis. Still refusing to humour him and his needs. He realises that you aren’t having a hazy idea but a well-formed concept. Silence follows. Deafeningly loud. Till silence is just silence.
A little voice says this revelation will stop boys from blowing up your DMs. Blowing smoke. Telling you about Netflix & Chill plus how he’ll rock your world and loves you like his best friend. Asking you to reach into your purse for him yet you don’t even know his last name. You don’t play like that no more.
It’ll be harder as you carry on, an older friend tells you.
Your eyes still work. Visual cues don’t only work in men.
Tall, broad chested with a thick beard. Smells dark and woody. He claims that he reads books and isn’t scared of a little fire. It’s a little rare. After, high school books are burnt like effigies of teachers that made life harder than necessary. Also, some boys believe in hyper-masculinity and see books as effeminate. He says no to being woke.
Boys are glued on girls that catch their eye. His eyes will follow her across the room. You feel like one of them since you ran your eyes all over him. He beamed at you when your eyes came back to his face. You couldn’t help it. He works out. Being a lover of words and beautiful things, you might start waxing poetically about him.
You can tell that he does squats and it’s definitely paying off. You can tell that he does press ups and you never really perfected yours. A little fun by the pool isn’t a bad idea. Your mind is running with possibilities and you’re struggling to keep up a normal conversation.
The moment feels electric and you need a cold shower before you set yourself ablaze.
Echoing at the back of your mind, you remember sitting on the grass, holding onto beads, praying into the sky and taking a vow of celibacy.
Will you stay thirsty?