I’ve been eyeing him for a while. I don’t think he looks that bad. I hope that I’m not high on my own supply. Not too tall so that his head bumps the door when he enters a too room or too short to make me wonder whether he has a temper or not. I’ve always wanted to test that theory! My eyes aren’t flickering in confusion because he’s not suffocating in skinny jeans.
He texts me back in full sentences & I know that ‘hae’ isn’t vocabulary. English came with the white man but he makes sense the first-time words move out of his lips. I don’t need to double translate about what he said and what he really meant.
I can tell that he analyses and thinks about what he does. His boys aren’t an excuse for acting shady or less of a man. Never will he tell me to man up and get over injustice instead of making noise just because my piece of equipment differs from his.
I ask about his past and what he happened before we became cool. George doesn’t shower his exes with expletives but he isn’t stuck in the past wishing a second chance. He isn’t a false feminist that preaches equality and equal opportunities yet still yearn for a “nice” daughter that doesn’t give her
master husband ( Did I say that out loud?) a headache.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they were animating her in a lab and trying to give her bigger rack, smaller brain & wider hips. Browner than syrup honey, smooth skin, luscious empty lips that don’t rain fire plus always making decisions centered on him. He is the light & the way and her life would be meaningless without them. A woman can breathe life into a man but who needs that when she can cook, clean and keep her mouth shut.
He sounds like a nice guy. Is he taking you somewhere? Wangui asks and I can feel her cheeks burning right through the phone. I can tell when she’s building up to something plus she knows me well enough not to hold back her punches.
I hate to admit it but I’m living in the desert literally. Having a puppy is cute & fun but the thirst is real. I need something to cool me down. Alternatively, a second puppy 😉
Dumbing me down and firing up at the same time. A little bit of me wonders what he’d taste like. What turns him own? Can he cook with chocolate? He definitely looks like one when he bites his lip.
‘Wangui, I’m not going anywhere… I’m going in circles with him,’ I tell her over the phone, matter of fact. I don’t want her getting ahead of herself.
She laughs. I die a little. I laugh back with her because I know no better. It could be the universe trying to tell me something or warn from unnecessary uncertainty.
‘What do you mean?’ Wangui asks & I can visualize her eyes getting a little smaller if she could see me now.
‘I’m dating a butterfly. Karma?’ I respond quickly.
I don’t think he wants anything from me but he likes being around me. I can feel electricity when I’m around him, things are a little slower and more intense. However, I can tell that it isn’t permanent.
I hope living in the desert isn’t conjuring mirages in my head. My sober side reminds me that I don’t know whether he belongs to the extraordinary league of douches. Life is all about being guilty first and innocence later.
‘Do you want him?’ she asks slowly, savoring every moment.
‘I don’t know,’ I say into the air hoping my words get lifted away. I don’t want to jinx things just because I don’t know what’s happening behind closed doors.
Butterflies are pretty to look at. They make life sweeter literally. Yet, you never catch them. Drawn in the mirror, never looking away because they mesmerize themselves.
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