That boy is running circles through your mind. You can’t put your finger on it. It’s just something in the way he walks. The way he moves. The way he talks. And how he handles others. How he carries himself speaks to you.
He feels different from every other man that has stood up & left whenever things were getting too hot.
A small seed has been growing in your heart. Solidifying. Hardening. Since last time you got burnt & scorched to black ashes. Swearing that all men are dogs. Hence they need to be treated that way & house broken till they submit and act accordingly. Being hard on them is a necessary evil.
It saves your spirit in the long run.
You’re too much of an alpha female. All your friends tell you that you burn a little too bright for all the other candles. A few want you to tamper with yourself so that you don’t scare the ‘good ones’ away. Others tell you ‘burn bright far & wide till the candle that matches you finds you’.
You can’t pretend to be something that you’re not.
He isn’t too dressy but you still like what you see. Definitely, you want more of him. That boy is funny & he knows it. One joke is a little too crude but you let it slide. He’s just being one of the guys.
Till thoughts start lingering in your mind but you brush them off. Is he not the boy who’s been running circles through your mind? The man that you’ve been waiting for and he’s finally arrived.
Or has he?
Then, he says that he doesn’t understand why women need any celebration. What exactly have women done that they need recognition? Can’t they just shut up, move on with life and stop making so much noise.
All life emerges from a vagina so all your vagina can’t process what it’s hearing.
His statements hit you like a tonne of bricks because now you don’t know what to do with yourself. Mis..
It’s that word at the back of your mind reserved for men that never really left the village. Men that demand subordination without a clue or a plan about what to do next.
That boy is a bitter pill. He can’t be thawed or loved back till he becomes all syrupy again. He’s too bitter for your honeyed words to melt him. In fact, you wouldn’t even know where to start.
That bitter pill needs to go with the wind. Because you know exactly how it’s going to play out. The possibility of changing him is slim to none. Plus you know that he’ll drain whatever you’re trying to feed his soul.
His soul just can’t handle anything that isn’t acerbic.