Yes. I made up that title but I could be onto something…
A semblance of friendship with the object of your affection is needed before friend-zoning happens. You’re staring at her with glossy eyes & fidgety fingers. She sees a guy that makes her feel safe like a girlfriend & doesn’t light her up. That’s how unrequited love for women aka friend-zone for men works.
Just before trying out friendship, you hang out briefly to screen out your potential friend/bae as a serial psychopathic stalker.
So you float the idea of being cool with each other but you definitely want more. Things don’t always fall into place the first you meet someone. Sometimes, the messiness get clearer with time. You hated each other once. Now, you understand each other without words.
Clearly, your eyes can linger on who’s right in front of you or you might be getting a sibling vibe. Meaning that things are going to be strictly platonic from the get go. The heart wants what it wants.
Till they decide that whatever friendship that could have happened isn’t really worth it so they decide to cut their losses early on in the game.
Being a female you understand that no means no. So you back off and let it die a natural death.
It’s just weird that he pulled that card on you because you’re used to playing it.
A girl just has to do it.
Speaking up initially is awkward because you’re conditioned to being soft, feminine & understanding. Maybe you’ll grow into loving him (
eye roll) or appreciating what he brings to the table ( double eye roll). Just let him go, if he doesn’t tick your boxes from the get go and it hurts your spirit being around him. Besides you don’t see boys pretending about what turns them on or being apologetic about it.
So you’ve met him & you’re still setting your ducks in a row. It means that you’re collecting all of yourself because your essence was once so scattered that you didn’t know what to do with yourself.
It’s not easy, rolling, falling and finding yourself.
So your fingers move a little slower, scrolling through your phone-book as your mind wanders away.
It wanders how all of this gonna turn out but it isn’t in a rush because it knows better. It’s being burnt plus it’s scorched others till they stared at you like a savage.
It’s a necessary evil when she tells you that she isn’t really interested in whatever you’re hinting at or whatever you trying to build up to.
An ex told me that women label men. She knows if she wants to lean in closer and brush next to you innocently or stay celibate or leave you dangling on a tightrope.
Before having sparring opinions that might promote or demote you. The brakes are placed on you.
Your mind wanders back to all the times that you’ve dished the same dessert cold.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.